Denial
by kayter
Summary: 189th Night: Kanda. Everything hurt. He felt numb, slowly coming back to his senses, accompanied by the phantom pain that usually came with the healing process. SPOILERS


_**189th Night: Kanda**_

**Title:** Denial  
**Author:** kayter  
**Fandom:** D. Gray-Man  
**Pairing/Characters: **Kanda, mentions of Alma and pretty much everyone who was in Chapter 189.  
**Rating: **NC-13  
**Warning:** MAJOR SPOILERS from the latest DGM chapters.  
**Summary:** The recent events told from Kanda's side.

**Notes:** First story written in english ever. If there are any gramar mistakes please let me know.

* * *

_Alma Karma, does that name ring a bell?_

Everything hurt. He felt numb, slowly coming back to his senses, accompanied by the phantom pain that usually came with the healing process.

_Looks like it does~_

His mouth tasted like blood. He felt cold floor as he slowly opened his eyes, sensing the glow coming from beneath him, was it glass? Just where…?

But everything _hurt_, and he couldn't think straight, memories of the recent events coming at a sluggish pace. Where am I? What… He brought a hand up to support himself and tried to lift his heavy body. There was something in the floor, underneath it. But his blurred vision wouldn't let him identify it just yet. He narrowed his eyes, trying to distinguish the shapeless form under him. Was that hair? A face… a familiar sight, a ghost visiting from far, far away… The look on those eyes, the scar on the nose…

Alma.

He froze, eyes widened in shock, all lethargy leaving him at once as his mind raced. His surroundings no longer important.

Alma… almaalmalmaaalmaal-

_I'm so happy, I thought I was the only one…_

Shitshitshit why? … why was Alma here? How? He was supposed to… but he wasn't, he was right here but, but- he couldn't. Because he had, hadn't he? With his own hands… Then, why!?

_They call you Yuu._

His hand unconsciously moved to rest in the glass, right over the marked face, as if wanting to caress it. He barely noticed the lotuses in the corner of his eyes.

_Huh? Me? It's kinda embarrassing…_

The shape of the face, even if older, remained the same. The markings on his body, the symbol over the chest, so much like his own, yet not. The scars he himself had left on the other's body nine years ago…

_I'm Alma._

No.

Alma was _dead_. He had _killed_ him with _his own hands_. So there was _no way_ he was right here, before him.

He stood up. Still gazing at the figure.

This… person was not Alma. He had seen the others blood run dry, his cold body not being able to keep up the fight anymore, the color in his eyes fading away. No, there was simply no way in hell. He closed his eyes, trying to put his mind in focus, memories of the last battle finally coming back to him. That fucked up Noah, this has to be his making. For which he would pay.

He looked around evaluating the situation. A room with no windows. A door being the only way in and out. Some of the Order's personal seemingly being held as hostages. One of the Thirds fallen. The guy that attacked his camp, Tyki, an unknown Noah and the Earl in the center on the room. All looking at the Beansprout who was shouting something at them. Some of his naïve, noble shit, probably. What a nuisance, the ache the memory brought to his chest would have to wait until later, when he can meditate it away.

Then he focused on the big prize: the Earl. He did recognize a chance when he saw it, so he wasted no time. Moving quickly, he picked up Mugen and the Noah doll. The second for later use, taking it with his mouth so it wouldn't get in Mugen's way. He ran past the other exorcist and attacked…

… Only to have Tyki Mikk blocking him.

"Tsk." Damn, that had been close.

He struggled against the Noah's unexpectedly hard arm to get his sword through. But in the end the Noah proved to be stronger by forcing him to jump back. Landing next to the Beansprout.

"Kanda! You were able to move!?"

Who would, of course, ask something stupid. "Got a problem with that?"

"Not really, but it really vexes me that you were immobile the whole time."

'The whole time'? How long had he…? "I woke up after I got smashed in the head. It took a while to grasp the situation."

While he still had the time, he proceeded to rip the ribbon from the Noah doll.

"AAH!? What are you doing, you pervert!? "

"Shut up! Your brother broke my hair tie, so hand that ribbon over!"

"That's what you captured her for?" The brat complained as he tied his hair.

"Anyway, we need to retreat once and recover ourselves." Said the Third.

But they didn't make it far before the unknown Noah made something with his hands, and the ducts broke through the water tank in the floor, successfully blocking their exit in the same move.

"You lowly creatures, do you understand the situation you're in?" This guy, he decided, was really creepy. "Especially the 14th. Did you not hear us say that we'd never let you return to your Order?"

He eyed his partner. What the…?

But his attention was immediately attracted by something else. The Noah had lifted the body he had seen beneath the glass. It just hung there like a dead puppet. He gave himself the time to fully observe it. The tattoo-like marks all over the body, the long hair that only grew on one side, the… _the scar on the nose_…

No. He had already established that this wasn't Alma. Alma was dead, gone not to come back, he'd seen to that himself. This… person, wasn't someone he even vaguely cared about. He wasn't even conscious, yet he'd already found him annoying nonetheless. What could the Earl possibly want it for? Who…

"Who the heck is that?"

Everyone in the room looked at him, dumbfoed.

"What did you just say?"

" 'Who the heck is that?' "

But they were still staring at him, as if he hadn't made his question clear enough. Che, were they all _that_ stupid? "I asked who that is."

"What are you saying?" Cried the little Noah doll. "Is Alma!! The failure that you killed nine years ago-"

_No._

He doesn't remember moving, but somehow, his hand was already crushing the little puppet.

"He's dead." He spat venomously. Glaring daggers at the Noah in his hands.

"But he survived."

No. _nonononon-_

"Even though he was barely alive, the Order hid him."

"Do you want to get squashed…?" It became hard to control the trembling fury in his voice, or in all his body for that matter.

But it continued speaking.

"They were hiding him while laying the blame for Alma on you."

_No._

"Using the 'Sacred-war' as an excuse."

_No._

"For nine long years…"

_Nonono._

"On top of that, he's been implanted with an Akuma's nucleus. He's merely a living doll, devoured by Alma."

A weak sound was heard as he crushed the Noah doll's head and it fell in pieces.

"What's wrong? Aren't you happy to meet Alma?"

They. Were. All. _Lies_.

Alma was dead. He was _dead._

Yet the Noah kept talking.

"Perhaps the woman who made you slit Alma…"

_…!?_

"Does she have anything to do with this?"

_Enough._

Again, he didn't feel himself reacting, but the tip of Mugen has already millimeters away from the Doll's body.

It's been enough. The little bitch was lying, she was _lying_. That could _not_ have happened, there was no way… He had… had…

He barely noticed the other exorcist talking to him, his innocence preventing him from destroying the little puppet once and for all.

It wasn't Alma. _Nowaynowaynoway…_

He saw as the Noah's head regenerated right in front of Mugen's sharp edge. And pressed the sword harder against whatever that was keeping him from impaling it.

All he wanted was for the Noah bitch and her lies to _disappear_.

She was lying, she was wrong… she…

"Fine. If you won't believe is Alma, then…"

His head hurt, too much information being brought to the surface at the same time… These memories, these… these...

"Let Alma himself prove it to you."

…Alma.


End file.
